Keeping Hopeful Expectation
I love holy Saturday.
A few years ago my heart shifted.
I was laying on a dock, my knees up, feet planted, eyes closed towards the sky. I was alone and water moved all around me.
A crucifix was at my feet … If you’ve ever been to LifeTeen Camp Hidden Lake … then you know the one. The sun was dancing on my skin. And I asked, “Jesus, what do you want to talk about?”
He said, “resurrection.” And my mind snapped to this scene:
I’m carrying the Lord’s body and I place it in the tomb. It’s heavy and I am tired. I’m disappointed. I have to deal with the death of my hope … again? I could have sworn that my life was about to change because of this friend.
Looking at His body, I begin to back away. I roll the stone and embrace what feels like finality. I bow my head and leave.
I walk away in an effort to leave it all behind, I’m destroyed but I feel the need to be brave. So I quickly say to myself … “It’s okay, I can navigate this pain.” In a sense, I was giving up.
The next day I’m walking by and see Jesus standing outside the tomb. His hands are crossed over His chest and He’s leaning against the rolled away stone. He is smiling big at the sight of me.
I stop dead in my tracks and put my hands up. I ask … “Are you sure you don’t want me to just embrace this loss? I can deal with it.” I wasn’t ready for this type of miracle.
He gently laughed and began to shake my heart.
In response He said … “Do not give up on me. Do not give into anything less than abundant life. There is more. Expect resurrection. Accept resurrection.”
He continued …
“Don’t you see? I want to make you a resurrected woman. Do not settle for less than the risen one. Lean into me. Lean into life.”
As my mind drifted back, I sat up. Immediately, tiny blue butterflies began to land all over me. They came in one by one and danced along my legs.
My call is now clear:
On Holy Saturday and all the other in-between moments of life, we have a choice: keep expectant hope or give up.
We can accept Jesus crucified or we can have faith that He can do more — that soon, He will bless the time spent waiting with a miracle.
When sitting in the middle - right between the breaking and the blessing - expect the blessing.
Look up, a miracle is coming.
