If you loved someone like you, what would you do for them?

July 21, 2023

On How We Treat Ourselves

I remember sitting at my tiny kitchen table. I had just made myself dinner. I laid out a placement - just for me. I was using my nice plates - in the middle of the week, just for me. I challenged myself to sit and eat without distraction - just for me.

At the time, I was living in a 400 square foot carriage house / shed (LOL) lovingly nicknamed “The Butterfly Bungalow." I had just moved miles away from anyone I knew and this tiny house felt handed to me by God as a place to hide away and be me.

That night, in the light of my nice taper candles, I started to cry. They weren't sad tears - I was crying at the realization of healing.

While doing my dishes, I typed out these words. I wrote this reflection over a year ago but I still read it often. I need these words. We need these words.

----

I’ve had the most groundbreaking week.

Nothing huge has happened. But a lot of little things have. Just because I started asking myself one question: “If I loved someone just like me, what would I do for her?”

Here’s what I’ve discovered:

I would make her a nice dinner. Every night. And yes, I’d make the extra stop at the grocery store on my way home. Even with the traffic. Even when I don’t want to.

I would make sure she gets her time with God in the morning — it’s where all good comes from. I wouldn’t rush it. She needs a minute.

I would light the nice candles. And use the fun dishes. And buy the flowers. And set the table like it’s a special occasion every single night. I would celebrate her life.

I would remind her to go on that run. At whatever pace she wants. I agree, she feels great when she’s done.

I would put down my phone. She doesn’t deserve distracted, you know?

I would complete that task that’s bugging her. She doesn’t need to think about it anymore. I would do my best to free her up!

I would play the music she loves loud. In the morning and at night. I would make things fun.

I would figure out which supplements she needs to take or what foods aren’t making her feel good. I would jump at the chance to take care of her.

I would encourage her to create - just to recreate. It makes her come alive and I’d like to see her that way.

I would agree with her when she felt that she needed to say no. She does have a lot on her plate and she doesn’t have to do it all.

I would save some money for her. She’s got a big future. Cash helps.

I would make sure she goes to bed early, she always has a big day tomorrow and sleep is her favorite sport.

I would tell her to wear the fun clothes. And not worry about it anymore. Why is she saving them? She looks good!

I would tell her to use her voice. I’d remind her that she’s got some serious gifts and that she should take the risks.

I wouldn’t be cheap with her — I would give her the best. I would give her my time.

That her is me. That her is you.

Why aren’t you doing these things for yourself?

Why wasn’t I?

---

We are called to take care - to love our neighbor, as we do ourselves.

What would you do this weekend if you loved someone who was just like you? I hope we're wise enough to give ourselves what we need. God always does - follow His lead.

Love,

Caroline