On Dying & Living 🦋
To Live Like You’re Dying
I was talking to my mom on the phone last week and she mentioned recent scan results. She has been battling a rare stage 4 cancer for the past 9 years. It detected tumor growth, which is never good news. But at the end of the call, all she wished to do was drive around and see the perennials in bloom.
There are endless lessons that come from this journey, but the truth that it always comes down to the small things, like seeing seasonal blooms, is the one that continues to rise to the top.
I've long imagined that in the face of death, everything quickly changes. The Tim McGraw of it all. What I've seen, is different. Everything stands still and the very normal becomes holy. Like a slow collecting of yourself to the center — the finding of treasures right in front of you.
This poem is inspired by the way I've watched my mom fight, how death brings the present into sharp focus and how my dad always jokes, “Everyone is dying but not everyone is living.” So true.
—
There is nothing romantic about a timeline.
We’re all walking one right now.
If we were to live like we were dying
we wouldn't go somewhere new
or ride a bull named Fu Manchu.
There is nothing inspiring about an ending
or charming about suffering.
To live like we were dying
we would come home, let go and
be pulled into the present.
Right here, right now …
sucked into the details of our family, friends,
and how wonderful the sunshine feels.
We'd notice everything to be anointed with normalcy.
Our day-to-day a precious wonder, a tender treasure.
To live like we were dying
we would not take for granted the blooms
or our simple breath.
We're all walking an invisible timeline.
If we were to life like we were dying, we'd simply be present to today.
__
ILY,
C 🦋
Things that Made this Week Livelier
Live Lively,
Caroline